Trigger
warning, these readings and the sermon discuss divorce, if this raises issues for you,
please talk with someone about it. write their name down now, so you have it
later.
The readings are Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and Mark 10:1-16
At first
reading, this passage is about divorce, or rather not getting divorced, but is
it really?
We start by
hearing that Jesus is teaching the crowd, and some Pharisees decide to test
Jesus.
They ask
Jesus is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?
Is it
lawful?
I wonder
what questions we ask.
Is it
lawful?
Reminds me of
teenagers saying, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t
Is it
lawful, is a boundary pushing question.
Yes, this
question is about divorce, but also about much more than divorce. The question
could have been about anything, the intent of the question is to trap Jesus. No
matter how he answers this question, someone will be unhappy, and maybe enough
people will walk away from listening to him, and he will no longer be a threat
to the power of the Pharisees.
I wonder,
what questions do we ask, not when we want an answer, but when we want to trap,
or ridicule, or point out to someone how wrong they are. I have seen this in
discussions about refugees, same gender marriage, abortion, and climate change.
The passage
begins with Jesus teaching the crowd.
I wonder
what Jesus was teaching when the Pharisees interrupted with their question?
Throughout the gospels, Jesus is teaching about transformation and the upside
nature of the Kingdom of God compared to what we experience in most social and
political situations.
In situations
where power, status or strength give privilege;
in a world where being male and adult is honoured,
in a world where women and children are treated as property and not human, I
wonder what Jesus was teaching about? Maybe sharing resources, or treating all
people with dignity, or not judging another person, or ….
Mark does
not tell us.
The
Pharisees want to know how Jesus will answer one of the topical and contested
issues of the day, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Divorce was an
accepted part of both Jewish and Roman societies. Some leaders spoke against
divorce as bad for society, but for the most part people debated only details
of its legal basis. [Matt
Skinner, https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-mark-102-16-2]
If you look
up divorce in the Bible, you will find a few references. The law comes from the
Torah, the first five books of the Bible. Some references on divorce are in
Leviticus to do with laws for Priests, and in Deuteronomy 22:28, if a man takes
a young woman who is not engaged, and rapes her, he must marry her and can never
divorce her.
If we look
at the Deuteronomy reading [24:1-4], a man divorcing his wife is a given, but
if she marries another man, she cannot go back to the ex-husband who divorced
her. Genesis 2 implies no divorce, and in Ezra those with foreign wives are
expected to divorce them.
Divorce presumes
marriage, and that is how Jesus answers the question.
Something
about marriage: marriage at this time was not a result of courtship, romance,
flowers, dancing, movies, and meals; marriages were arranged between families,
marriage was about property, honour, and status. Therefore, divorce was quite
complicated and involved extended families and the community. Today divorce is
also complicated, though for different reasons.
Divorce,
then and now, puts people in jeopardy. Then divorce left women in a precarious
place. When a man divorced his wife, if her father or brother was unwilling to
take her in “the consequences for the woman were devastating -- familial and
public disgrace, potentially severe economic hardship, and limited future
prospects for her and her children. So Jesus' words were likely intended not to
set up a standard by which to judge and stigmatize but rather to protect women
who were so much more vulnerable before the law than men.” [Love and Marriage Monday, October 01, 2012
David Lose]
“Jesus
describes marriage with utmost seriousness, as something that transcends
contractual obligations and economic utility, as something rooted in human
identity. This offers a sharp reproof to any who would construe marriage as a
contract of convenience, casually formed and casually broken.” https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-mark-102-16-2
I wonder if any
of this is helpful for people who want to know God’s will on the issue of
divorce. I remember a person coming to see me about problems in their
relationship, this person did not want to leave the marriage because ‘I
promised before God, I would stay married’. That is what our marriage vows say.
But this person was being abused by their spouse. Should they stay, continue to
be abused, and their children see one parent beating another?
I doubt
anyone would suggest to this person that they must stay because of the
importance of marriage.
I am not suggesting
the Bible says divorce is fine, go for it thoughtlessly. But neither does it
say you cannot divorce. Each divorce is different.
Where do we
draw the line? That was also an issue in the time of Jesus.
Just as
today there are people who will argue points of law on points of law, and what
various words mean in various contexts, the interpretation of the Law of Moses
was quite varied. So even though the Pharisees ask, “is it lawful”, they
already know what is in the law. The interpretation of this law varied from
divorce is only allowed in cases of infidelity, to the other extreme - if your
wife is late with your dinner or displeases you in any way you can divorce her.
Notice only
the man can divorce the woman. In Jesus’ response, he does say if she divorces
her husband, this was permissible in Roman law, but not in Jewish law.
Why did
Moses write that divorce is allowed? In Mark, Jesus says it is because of the hardness
of heart, or because people are heartless, depending on the translation.
We are
human, we make mistakes, sometimes we are rude, obnoxious, disloyal, or unfaithful.
Some people are forced or coerced into marriage by societal expectations, maybe
not so much in our western culture today, but in my lifetime, if you were
unmarried and pregnant, a wedding was likely on the horizon, ready or not.
Divorce left
women in a potentially dangerous situation, unable to find shelter or food for
herself and any children. I wonder who is most disadvantaged by divorce today. Sometimes
it is women and children, sometimes men tell me how hard separation and divorce
has been on them and their children. I have heard people say you must stay
together for the children, but how is it healthy for children to grow up in a
household full of tension.
This passage
is about divorce, but also the questions we ask and how we interpret the law.
I wonder if
it also helps us to see where our hearts are hardened to another person or
group of people.
All through the
gospels we see people’s lives changed, for the better, by the healing,
forgiving, inclusive words of Jesus; and we see the Pharisees and other
religious leaders challenged by Jesus when the law is used to condemn people.
Is it
lawful?
Maybe there are
other questions to ask.
VALUES
(Mark
10:2-16)
Jesus
pointed out
the
hardheartedness he saw
in those
around him.
Pharisees,
divorce;
disciples
missing the point;
children
turned away.
Indignant
Jesus
showed the
values of God’s realm;
including,
blessing.
How do I
reflect
God’s
including and blessing
day by day
by day?
Jeff Shrowder, 2021