the question of divorce?

 

Trigger warning, these readings and the sermon discuss divorce, if this raises issues for you, please talk with someone about it. write their name down now, so you have it later.

The readings are Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and Mark 10:1-16

At first reading, this passage is about divorce, or rather not getting divorced, but is it really?

We start by hearing that Jesus is teaching the crowd, and some Pharisees decide to test Jesus.

They ask Jesus is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?  

Is it lawful?

I wonder what questions we ask.

Is it lawful?

Reminds me of teenagers saying, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t

Is it lawful, is a boundary pushing question.

Yes, this question is about divorce, but also about much more than divorce. The question could have been about anything, the intent of the question is to trap Jesus. No matter how he answers this question, someone will be unhappy, and maybe enough people will walk away from listening to him, and he will no longer be a threat to the power of the Pharisees.

I wonder, what questions do we ask, not when we want an answer, but when we want to trap, or ridicule, or point out to someone how wrong they are. I have seen this in discussions about refugees, same gender marriage, abortion, and climate change.

 The passage begins with Jesus teaching the crowd.

I wonder what Jesus was teaching when the Pharisees interrupted with their question? Throughout the gospels, Jesus is teaching about transformation and the upside nature of the Kingdom of God compared to what we experience in most social and political situations.

In situations where power, status or strength give privilege;
in a world where being male and adult is honoured,
in a world where women and children are treated as property and not human, I wonder what Jesus was teaching about? Maybe sharing resources, or treating all people with dignity, or not judging another person, or …. 

Mark does not tell us.

The Pharisees want to know how Jesus will answer one of the topical and contested issues of the day, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Divorce was an accepted part of both Jewish and Roman societies. Some leaders spoke against divorce as bad for society, but for the most part people debated only details of its legal basis. [Matt Skinner, https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-mark-102-16-2]

 If you look up divorce in the Bible, you will find a few references. The law comes from the Torah, the first five books of the Bible. Some references on divorce are in Leviticus to do with laws for Priests, and in Deuteronomy 22:28, if a man takes a young woman who is not engaged, and rapes her, he must marry her and can never divorce her.

If we look at the Deuteronomy reading [24:1-4], a man divorcing his wife is a given, but if she marries another man, she cannot go back to the ex-husband who divorced her. Genesis 2 implies no divorce, and in Ezra those with foreign wives are expected to divorce them.  

Divorce presumes marriage, and that is how Jesus answers the question.

Something about marriage: marriage at this time was not a result of courtship, romance, flowers, dancing, movies, and meals; marriages were arranged between families, marriage was about property, honour, and status. Therefore, divorce was quite complicated and involved extended families and the community. Today divorce is also complicated, though for different reasons. 

Divorce, then and now, puts people in jeopardy. Then divorce left women in a precarious place. When a man divorced his wife, if her father or brother was unwilling to take her in “the consequences for the woman were devastating -- familial and public disgrace, potentially severe economic hardship, and limited future prospects for her and her children. So Jesus' words were likely intended not to set up a standard by which to judge and stigmatize but rather to protect women who were so much more vulnerable before the law than men.”  [Love and Marriage Monday, October 01, 2012 David Lose] 

“Jesus describes marriage with utmost seriousness, as something that transcends contractual obligations and economic utility, as something rooted in human identity. This offers a sharp reproof to any who would construe marriage as a contract of convenience, casually formed and casually broken.” https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-mark-102-16-2 

I wonder if any of this is helpful for people who want to know God’s will on the issue of divorce. I remember a person coming to see me about problems in their relationship, this person did not want to leave the marriage because ‘I promised before God, I would stay married’. That is what our marriage vows say. But this person was being abused by their spouse. Should they stay, continue to be abused, and their children see one parent beating another?

I doubt anyone would suggest to this person that they must stay because of the importance of marriage. 

I am not suggesting the Bible says divorce is fine, go for it thoughtlessly. But neither does it say you cannot divorce. Each divorce is different. 

Where do we draw the line? That was also an issue in the time of Jesus. 

Just as today there are people who will argue points of law on points of law, and what various words mean in various contexts, the interpretation of the Law of Moses was quite varied. So even though the Pharisees ask, “is it lawful”, they already know what is in the law. The interpretation of this law varied from divorce is only allowed in cases of infidelity, to the other extreme - if your wife is late with your dinner or displeases you in any way you can divorce her.

Notice only the man can divorce the woman. In Jesus’ response, he does say if she divorces her husband, this was permissible in Roman law, but not in Jewish law. 

Why did Moses write that divorce is allowed? In Mark, Jesus says it is because of the hardness of heart, or because people are heartless, depending on the translation. 

We are human, we make mistakes, sometimes we are rude, obnoxious, disloyal, or unfaithful. Some people are forced or coerced into marriage by societal expectations, maybe not so much in our western culture today, but in my lifetime, if you were unmarried and pregnant, a wedding was likely on the horizon, ready or not. 

Divorce left women in a potentially dangerous situation, unable to find shelter or food for herself and any children. I wonder who is most disadvantaged by divorce today. Sometimes it is women and children, sometimes men tell me how hard separation and divorce has been on them and their children. I have heard people say you must stay together for the children, but how is it healthy for children to grow up in a household full of tension. 

This passage is about divorce, but also the questions we ask and how we interpret the law.

I wonder if it also helps us to see where our hearts are hardened to another person or group of people. 

All through the gospels we see people’s lives changed, for the better, by the healing, forgiving, inclusive words of Jesus; and we see the Pharisees and other religious leaders challenged by Jesus when the law is used to condemn people.

Is it lawful?

Maybe there are other questions to ask.

 

VALUES

(Mark 10:2-16)

Jesus pointed out
the hardheartedness he saw
in those around him.

 Pharisees, divorce;
disciples missing the point;
children turned away.

Indignant Jesus
showed the values of God’s realm;
including, blessing.

How do I reflect
God’s including and blessing
day by day by day?

    Jeff Shrowder, 2021

 

Embracing the Kingdom

Is it lawful? That is what the Pharisees asked Jesus. Is it lawful?

It sounds like children asking, “Is it really true?” Or “did you really say that?”   Often when we ask those questions, we already know the answer, but are testing the boundaries, seeing if there is any wriggle room. The Pharisees are testing Jesus, they are not really interested in an answer, but in setting a trap.

The thing with the question is the Pharisees weren't really wanting an answer the Pharisees set out to test Jesus, because no matter what answer he gave it would be contentious.

What we call the Old Testament has a number of different sections in. The first five books are ‘Torah’ for Jewish people, it’s like the books of law. The various religious teachers had their own way of interpreting the law and the way it related to everyday life.

So the Pharisees set out to test Jesus, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

The people asking this question already knew what the Torah said, that a man is allowed to divorce his wife. But just as today there are people who will argue points of law on points of law, and what various words mean in various contexts, the interpretation of the Law of Moses was quite varied. So even though the Pharisees ask “is it lawful”, they already know what is in the law. The interpretation of this law varied from divorce is only allowed in cases of infidelity, to the other extreme of - if your wife is your dinner or displeases you in some way you can divorce her.

Notice only the man can divorce the woman. In Jesus response, he does say if she divorces her husband, this was permissible in Roman law, but not in Jewish law.

In his response to the question, Jesus talks about marriage and the importance of marriage, but he also says that if a man divorces his wife and marries another woman he commits adultery against his wife. The understanding at this time was that he was dishonouring her family, her father in particular, Jesus accords the woman honour.

Something about marriage: marriage at this time was not a result of courtship, romance, flowers, dancing, movies and meals; marriages were arranged between families, marriage was about property, honour and status. Therefore divorce was quite complicated. Today divorce is also quite complicated, though for different reasons.

What did it mean for a couple to divorce? For the woman, her life is turned upside down. This was a society where women needed to have a male to stand up for them; a father, a husband, a son. When a man divorced his wife, if father or brother was unwilling to take her in “the consequences for the woman were devastating -- familial and public disgrace, potentially severe economic hardship, and limited future prospects for her and her children. So Jesus' words were likely intended not to set up a standard by which to judge and stigmatize but rather to protect women who were so much more vulnerable before the law then men.”  [Love and Marriage Monday, October 01, 2012 David Lose ]

These days our questions are quite different, I can’t remember ever being asked if it’s okay to get divorced and still be a member of the church. I have known people who are divorced and wondered if they would still be welcome in the church.

Questions today seem to revolve around abortion, homosexuality, genetic testing, social media, and robotics. These and many of the issues of modern life are not issues that people raised with Jesus, so we need to look for some guiding principles for the real questions that we ask. And maybe we need to think about why we are asking those questions in the first place.

The second part of his reading we hear again of the disciples not understanding Jesus. Parents are bringing their children to Jesus to be blessed. As I mentioned in the last few weeks, children did not bring honour and held no status in society. The disciples decided that Jesus was too busy, too important, to deal with children.

I wonder how often our priorities are different to the priorities of Jesus.

One article I read this week offers an alternative interpretation of verse 15.  The Good News Bible reads: I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” [GNB] this implies that we need to become like children to enter the Kingdom of God. Another way of reading the Greek is “Welcome the kingdom like you would welcome a child.”  [Mark G. Vitalis Hoffman working preacher October 2015]

Welcome the kingdom as you would welcome a child.

Divorce, embracing children, given the culture was so different, what has that to do with 21st century living?

As I look at these stories, I see a picture of Jesus who sides with the powerless, he wanted to protect women, who were not considered much more highly than property; Jesus who blesses the children, when his disciples think he’s too busy, too important, too tired.

In the reading from Hebrews we hear that even though God has spoken in a variety of ways, in Jesus we see the imprint of God, the reflection of God’s glory. I can remember hearing at one stage that Jesus is the best picture we have of God.

Jesus is the best picture we have of God, I wonder what these readings from Mark tell us about where we experience God;

• When we are strong?
• When we are suffering?
• When we are powerless?

The good news is that when society tells us we are not worth anything, when friends or family abandon us, when life seems to be one series of disasters after another, God does not abandon us.

This morning we will share in Communion together, a sign of grace, of God’s love. Today is World Communion Sunday, and some churches are thinking today about how we are all connected with churches right around the world through our faith in Jesus Christ; and through this common meal that we shared together.

As we reflect on the scripture readings I invite you to think about:

• What are the questions you struggle with?
• If Jesus is the best picture we have of God, what do we learn about God?

law and love

I'm sure you are all wondering how I'm going to speak about the gospel reading on a day when we are also celebrating B and Y’s 50th wedding anniversary.

This passage has been used at times to define relationships, there are people who are divorced, remarried, or in same gender relationships, and at some time or another this passage will have been quoted to them to point out their sinfulness.

 While this reading does have something to say to us about marriage and divorce; it is about much more than that.

 The question that the Pharisees ask, as in many of the questions Jesus is asked, is intended to trap Jesus. There were different Rabbinic Schools and each has different interpretations of the laws of Moses. In the same way that if we were to discuss the Bible passage here today different people would have different understandings and would all have a good reason for thinking that way; the thing is when Jesus was alive it wasn't just a Bible study discussion it was law, it determined your ability to be involved in religious life and in community life.

The Pharisees asked is it lawful? “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?". Jesus responds in good Jewish fashion, and refers to Moses, the great lawgiver.

And then Jesus brings in a completely different dimension. He doesn't talk about when divorce is or isn't lawful or permitted, he doesn't talk about custody disputes, or even the unjustness of a system that allowed men to divorce their wife but not the other way round. A  system that left many divorced women destitute. A system that treated women and children as property of father or husband. 

Some commentators point out that the Pharisees asked about divorce, and Jesus talked about marriage, but this is about much more than divorce or marriage. It points to a different place for the Law, a different understanding of relationships, a different way of looking at God.  

Firstly, looking at the Law. For the  ‘ordinary Jews’ that Jesus met, the Law was important. The Law was important for how you related to God and to others. The Law was the central point of the community. The Law was also under debate. Just as lawyers now debate in the High Court how legislation and constitution should be interpreted, so Rabbis debated various interpretations of the Law.  

Jesus doesn’t align himself with any one view of the Law, but points to behind the law. Jesus talked about God’s intention in creation. The question is asked: is it legal, is it allowed; Jesus responds by showing he knows the law, but that there is something that overrides the law. God’s will, God love, overrides the Law.  

Relationships are an area we could spend days talking about, parents, children, siblings, wider family members, in-laws, step parents, half siblings and on and on, as well as partners and spouses and friends. Relationships come in a myriad of shapes and sizes. I think here Jesus is emphasizing that people are made, created, intended by God, to be in relationship. Not necessarily marriage. People are not intended to live isolated lives, humans are ‘herd’ animals.  

For many people, even today, following God’s law is in expectation of future reward. For many in our community this is part of  their understanding of religion and the role of religion. Yet the actions of Jesus show that religion is about love, not law. Religion has been used, and still is in places today,  to keep people under control, to limit freedom, to close of criticism and keep people compliant in their servitude. That is not the way of Jesus.  

Looking at the second part of the reading, Jesus shows again how radical he is. Children were not considered cute, children were property, they had no status. When the parents are bringing their children to Jesus, the disciples behave as any reasonable adult would. Why waste time on children, they have little value, no status, nothing to possibly gain from them, so why waste time on them. But Jesus rebukes the disciples and calls the children to him, and blesses them.  

These two stories may seem unrelated, but together they point us to a picture of Jesus that is about inclusion, welcome of the least, and the marginalised.  

A picture of grace.  

During much of September we looked at the creation, the  world, people, animals, plants and the sky, we thought about their interaction, and how all of God’s creation was seen by God as good. We acknowledged the way that the whole creation worships God, and tells of God’s glory. 

Here Jesus is reminding people, that God is not about what is lawful, but about living in relationship, interdependence, harmony of all things.  

Do we spend our time trying to find loopholes in laws, so that we can do as we desire?

Do we treat people as disposable? 

Another thing I notice in this reading is that people brought their children to be blessed by Jesus, which reminds me a bit of parents bringing their children to church for Baptism and blessing.  

We all need to be blessed by Jesus, and here we have three different interactions with Jesus.

One group thinks they know the Law, and therefore the religion, they don’t ask for a blessing, they try and trick Jesus with their question.  

Another group try and keep Jesus ‘safe’ from people who are not deemed ‘worthy’ of Jesus’ time or attention. This is not the only place the disciples try and keep people away from Jesus.   

And the last group come asking for a blessing, they come not with lots of knowledge, they come with little status, they come with their children, and they come hoping that this holy person will bless their children.  

Do we come to worship today comfortable in our knowledge about God?

Do we live in ways that tell people that they are not good enough to be around God’s people?

Do we recognise our frailty and seek God’s blessing?