Trigger
warning, these readings and the sermon discuss divorce, if this raises issues for you,
please talk with someone about it. write their name down now, so you have it
later.
The readings are Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and Mark 10:1-16
At first reading, this passage is about divorce, or rather not getting divorced, but is it really?
We start by hearing that Jesus is teaching the crowd, and some Pharisees decide to test Jesus.
They ask
Jesus is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?
Is it lawful?
I wonder
what questions we ask.
Is it
lawful?
Reminds me of
teenagers saying, you didn’t tell me I couldn’t
Is it
lawful, is a boundary pushing question.
Yes, this question is about divorce, but also about much more than divorce. The question could have been about anything, the intent of the question is to trap Jesus. No matter how he answers this question, someone will be unhappy, and maybe enough people will walk away from listening to him, and he will no longer be a threat to the power of the Pharisees.
I wonder,
what questions do we ask, not when we want an answer, but when we want to trap,
or ridicule, or point out to someone how wrong they are. I have seen this in
discussions about refugees, same gender marriage, abortion, and climate change.
I wonder
what Jesus was teaching when the Pharisees interrupted with their question?
Throughout the gospels, Jesus is teaching about transformation and the upside
nature of the Kingdom of God compared to what we experience in most social and
political situations.
In situations
where power, status or strength give privilege;
in a world where being male and adult is honoured,
in a world where women and children are treated as property and not human, I
wonder what Jesus was teaching about? Maybe sharing resources, or treating all
people with dignity, or not judging another person, or ….
Mark does not tell us.
The Pharisees want to know how Jesus will answer one of the topical and contested issues of the day, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife. Divorce was an accepted part of both Jewish and Roman societies. Some leaders spoke against divorce as bad for society, but for the most part people debated only details of its legal basis. [Matt Skinner, https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-mark-102-16-2]
If we look
at the Deuteronomy reading [24:1-4], a man divorcing his wife is a given, but
if she marries another man, she cannot go back to the ex-husband who divorced
her. Genesis 2 implies no divorce, and in Ezra those with foreign wives are
expected to divorce them.
Divorce presumes marriage, and that is how Jesus answers the question.
Something about marriage: marriage at this time was not a result of courtship, romance, flowers, dancing, movies, and meals; marriages were arranged between families, marriage was about property, honour, and status. Therefore, divorce was quite complicated and involved extended families and the community. Today divorce is also complicated, though for different reasons.
Divorce, then and now, puts people in jeopardy. Then divorce left women in a precarious place. When a man divorced his wife, if her father or brother was unwilling to take her in “the consequences for the woman were devastating -- familial and public disgrace, potentially severe economic hardship, and limited future prospects for her and her children. So Jesus' words were likely intended not to set up a standard by which to judge and stigmatize but rather to protect women who were so much more vulnerable before the law than men.” [Love and Marriage Monday, October 01, 2012 David Lose]
“Jesus describes marriage with utmost seriousness, as something that transcends contractual obligations and economic utility, as something rooted in human identity. This offers a sharp reproof to any who would construe marriage as a contract of convenience, casually formed and casually broken.” https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-27-2/commentary-on-mark-102-16-2
I wonder if any
of this is helpful for people who want to know God’s will on the issue of
divorce. I remember a person coming to see me about problems in their
relationship, this person did not want to leave the marriage because ‘I
promised before God, I would stay married’. That is what our marriage vows say.
But this person was being abused by their spouse. Should they stay, continue to
be abused, and their children see one parent beating another?
I doubt anyone would suggest to this person that they must stay because of the importance of marriage.
I am not suggesting the Bible says divorce is fine, go for it thoughtlessly. But neither does it say you cannot divorce. Each divorce is different.
Where do we draw the line? That was also an issue in the time of Jesus.
Just as
today there are people who will argue points of law on points of law, and what
various words mean in various contexts, the interpretation of the Law of Moses
was quite varied. So even though the Pharisees ask, “is it lawful”, they
already know what is in the law. The interpretation of this law varied from
divorce is only allowed in cases of infidelity, to the other extreme - if your
wife is late with your dinner or displeases you in any way you can divorce her.
Notice only the man can divorce the woman. In Jesus’ response, he does say if she divorces her husband, this was permissible in Roman law, but not in Jewish law.
Why did Moses write that divorce is allowed? In Mark, Jesus says it is because of the hardness of heart, or because people are heartless, depending on the translation.
We are human, we make mistakes, sometimes we are rude, obnoxious, disloyal, or unfaithful. Some people are forced or coerced into marriage by societal expectations, maybe not so much in our western culture today, but in my lifetime, if you were unmarried and pregnant, a wedding was likely on the horizon, ready or not.
Divorce left women in a potentially dangerous situation, unable to find shelter or food for herself and any children. I wonder who is most disadvantaged by divorce today. Sometimes it is women and children, sometimes men tell me how hard separation and divorce has been on them and their children. I have heard people say you must stay together for the children, but how is it healthy for children to grow up in a household full of tension.
This passage
is about divorce, but also the questions we ask and how we interpret the law.
I wonder if it also helps us to see where our hearts are hardened to another person or group of people.
All through the
gospels we see people’s lives changed, for the better, by the healing,
forgiving, inclusive words of Jesus; and we see the Pharisees and other
religious leaders challenged by Jesus when the law is used to condemn people.
Is it lawful?
Maybe there are
other questions to ask.
VALUES
(Mark
10:2-16)
Jesus
pointed out
the
hardheartedness he saw
in those
around him.
disciples
missing the point;
children
turned away.
Indignant
Jesus
showed the
values of God’s realm;
including,
blessing.
How do I
reflect
God’s
including and blessing
day by day
by day?
Jeff Shrowder, 2021
No comments:
Post a Comment