what is a bridesmaid to do?

Another parable, another wedding banquet.

as I mentioned last week, the paperwork for the wedding was done, and at a later time the groom would go and get the bride from her family residence and bring him back to his family; and there was a party.

The bridesmaids would be friends of the bride, unmarried, so possibly a bit younger than the bride. The bridesmaids would be waiting for the bride and groom to join the party. But in this story, the groom comes on his own. The implication is that Christ is returning for his bride, the church.  

There are a few stories in the gospels about ‘the end times’, and how we need to be ready when Jesus returns to earth.

This parable can be understood as being about the end times, Jesus return is delayed, and we need to be ready and not lose faith.

I have some concerns about this understanding of the parable – for one, what does it tell us about the Kingdom of heaven? be ready or get locked out?

What about the girls with oil not sharing with this without oil?

Is Jesus really running that late!

Jesus the good shepherd who left 99 to find the one lost sheep locks out half the Bridesmaids and refuses to answer the door?

But,

What if

- it isn't about oil, but about being there

-  it is about being, and waiting, in the darkness , for Jesus is the light,

- instead of searching for our own solutions, we wait for Jesus?

- it is about having our own spiritual life, so we are ready to serve when needed.

 

Here is a  story from a colleague:

A few years ago, to help out another pastor who had to be out of town that day, I officiated at a wedding at a very nice hotel. The hotel scheduled a wedding in the same room every two hours.

The bride and groom were concerned because the bride’s family had a history of somebody or another being late for everything—always running behind. And, sure enough, the wedding rehearsal ran way behind because people were late.

..

But the bride and groom had a plan for the wedding day. They asked everybody to show up an hour early. And it worked.

Until the Father of the Bride (Yes the Father of the Bride) . . . went home to get something that somebody in the wedding party had forgotten.

He ran into bad traffic—and wasn’t back when the wedding was supposed to start. The hotel’s wedding coordinator insisted that the wedding had to start on time so that we would be out of the room in time for the next wedding.

When I joked that I’d never been to a wedding that started on time (I said it with a smile, but I think it was true), the wedding coordinator looked at me and said VERY seriously, “then you’ve never been to a wedding HERE.”

We managed to stall a little longer, but at about quarter after the wedding coordinator insisted the wedding start. And, with the Father of the Bride stuck in traffic, the Bride’s uncle walked her up the aisle.

The problem wasn’t that some member of the bridal party left something at home, because the wedding went on without it. The problem was that the Father of the Bride left, and didn’t get to walk his daughter up the aisle.

The Bridesmaid’s problem wasn’t that they ran out of oil. The problem was that they LEFT.

[from Jay Egenes – narrative lectionary Facebook group]

…..

The bridesmaids left to find oil; but the role of the bridesmaid was to be there to welcome and celebrate with the bride and groom.  

The bridesmaids forgot their purpose, forgot WHO they were waiting for, distracted by the discussion about oil and lamps.

What is our role, what is our purpose as people of God?

What distracts us from our purpose?

……………………

 

 

I am thinking about how these parables flip common wisdom on its head. We can spend our time in being prepared for every eventuality, making sure we get paid the correct amount, etc; yet the kingdom is not like that. The kingdom is strange and so different to our reality .

I read something yesterday on this parable about sitting in the darkness.

I wonder if sometimes instead of trying to find our own light, we need to sit in the (dim) light that others provide while we wait for healing/ daybreak and Jesus to be light in our lives.

 

All the parables we have heard so far during Lent, encourage us to rethink our basic values.

While we are told that we should get away with whatever we can; the kingdom value is offering forgiveness in response to our own forgiveness.

While we are told that different people are worth different amounts, a CEO gets many times the wages of a cleaner, and some people have too much work and some not enough; but in the kingdom everyone has work and everyone receives enough to live.

While we are told that we should make sure we have friends in the right places, and that revenge is sweet; the kingdom of heaven is a kingdom of peace, where all are valued.

A kingdom of grace and generosity and peace. a kingdom built on relationship.

let us pray:

 

Prayer of the Day

You do not want us

to be ignorant of your

dreams and hopes for us,

God of holiness,

so you speak to us in parables,

so we might pay careful attention

to your words;

you tell us stories about

our grandparents in the faith,

so we might become mentors

to our grandchildren, and theirs.

Filling us with the holy oil

of generosity and grace,

you make us ready to welcome

Jesus Christ into our lives,

and to open our hearts

to those who are in need.

 

On this day, we choose to serve you,

God in Community, Holy in One,

….

 

— written by Thom Shuman, Lectionary Liturgies website

the kingdom of heaven is like .. WHAT!

We usually hear the Luke version of the great banquet, less violence, but this week we are thinking about Matthew’s version.

during Lent I am trying to view these parables, which start ‘the kingdom of heaven is like…’ through the lens of the Lord’s Prayer, where we pray each week ‘your kingdom come’

what kind of kingdom are we reading about this morning??

 

The traditional way to look at this reading is that God is the king, the messengers are the prophets, the people who are initially invited are Jews and the people who eventually come are the gentiles. and the one thrown out for not wearing the correct robe? , that refers to the need to always be clothed in righteous.

 

I can see how people read the parable this way, but I struggle with this explanation.

 

a little background first.

Chapter 21 Matthew records the entry into Jerusalem, that we celebrate on Palm Sunday, then the cleansing of the Temple.  after that Jesus is really popular with the religious and political leaders J

then the story of the cursing of the fig tree, the religious leaders question Jesus, and Jesus doesn’t answer, but asks them a question.

then we get to three parables:

parable of the two sons – one said he wouldn’t work, but did; the other said he would work but didn’t.

the parable of the wicked tenants – where the landowner sends servants to collect his share of the produce, but the tenants killed them, so he sent his son, and they killed him as well.

verse 45-46

‘when the chief priests heard his parables, they realised that he was speaking about them. they wanted to arrest him, but they feared the crowds, because they regarded him as a prophet.’

 

then this parable – the wedding banquet – and the next verse is

“then the Pharisees went and plotted to entrap him in what he said”

 

so while the disciples, or some of them, are likely present, Jesus is speaking to the religious leaders of the time.

 

what about the wedding banquet, it seems that weddings were different to the way we celebrate here in Australia, though there are many ways to celebrate even in Australia.  The couple would do the legal stuff, then the wedding festivities would happen when the bride moved from her family home to the grooms family home. Also, considering that people didn’t have iPads or pocket diaries, when the banquet was ready, you sent out word.

and the invite list:

as with diplomatic and business dinners today, you invite people who can do something for you. The people invited to the wedding of a prince, would be  people who were then beholden to the King, to be an ally of the King if the need arose, and they would definitely not set out to overthrow the king.

 

How might all this help us in looking at this parable.

 

here is a  poem by Bruce Prewer

Wedding Feast

(based on Matthew 22: 1-14)

 

He is off

the planet again!

This Jesus

who tells folk stories

which upend

normality and our

credulity suspend!

 

Where on earth

is royalty ignored?

Since

when does the guest

stay away

from the wedding feast

of a prince?

 

Where’s any king

who would open his table

to the street?

To garbage collectors,

back packers, buskers,

homeless kids

and the dead beat?

 

One thing’s sure:

Christ’s quirky kingdom

cannot be

of this world’s making.

Here kings swank

and royal halls are crammed

with pomposity.

                                                                                                                                                           

— Copyright © B.D. Prewer 1995, and posted on Bruce Prewer’s Homepage. 

 

the whole premise of the parable is ridiculous, who turns down an invitation from the King, let alone kills the messengers?  which King is going to pause meal preparations to go to war against their own people?

 

As I have been pondering, and struggling with this story, an email arrived yesterday with a short story from Andrew Dutney, the President of the UCA.  He was at a National Council of Churches Leaders meeting, and  Archbishop Zaia, Metropolitan of the Archdiocese of Australia, New Zealand and Lebanon was asked to speak briefly about the situation of his people in the Assyrian Church of the East.

 

These people live with violence, some have been killed, others raped and tortured, and many have fled from Iraq to Syria as refugees. [i]

And I wondered what difference it would make to how we hear this parable if we lived with constant violence and oppression?

 

I wonder what happens if we consider that the king is not God, but Caesar, and we hear what happens when a city descends into violence.  I wonder if this is part of the reaction of Matthew to the destruction of the Temple in AD 70. Most scholars have the Gospel of Matthew being written down after that time.

 

What if this is saying to us – when you try to live the kingdom of heaven into being, you will be subject to persecution and violence; because Caesar doesn’t want a Kingdom of peace, and forgiveness and justice.   That would take all the power from Caesar.

 

what if this is like a political comedy on TV, something like Clarke and Dawes or Frontline?  What if this is  about the violence that lies just below the surface of societies with strong notions of honour and shame.

 

 

What have we heard so far this Lent about the Kingdom of God?

we started with the parable of the servant who was forgiven much, but who then did not forgive the person who owed him money.

‘the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of forgiveness.’

 

Then last Sunday we heard the parable of the workers in the vineyard, where each was paid what was needed to sustain their family for the day.

“The Kingdom of heaven, is a kingdom of justice, a kingdom of need being met, not because we deserve it, not because we earned it, but because God is generous, and gracious and knows our need.”

 

God forgives us, is generous with us, and provides for the needs of all people, but to be part of God’s kingdom we need to also be generous, share resources and offer forgiveness.

 

then this passage?

 

what might we take away from this passage, this strange parable?

 

This kingdom that we pray for ask for our total allegiance, for all we are, and that may lead to conflict with others in society and even our own families.  But violence is not part of the Kingdom.

See what happened to Jesus when he lived in ways that upset the religious and political leaders – violence was done to him, he did not initiate violence against others or to defend himself.

 

We pray and we work for the coming of the Kingdom of heaven, a kingdom of peace, justice, and generosity; and some people will fight against such a kingdom coming into being.

  

ideas taken from

http://www.preachingpeace.org/lectionaries/34-year-a/164-yeara-proper23.html

http://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=2389#post_comments

 

---

[i] https://andrewfdutney.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/what-happened-on-thursday-morning/

It Isn't Fair

Proclamation of the Word

The kingdom of heaven is like a wealthy landowner .. you have all heard this parable before, and I am guessing that you all have questions about it, because it just isn’t fair.

it isn’t fair that some people worked longer hours and got paid the same.

it isn’t fair!

so how can the Kingdom of heaven be like this, if it isn’t fair??

In the time of Jesus, there were people who relied on getting casual work each day to be able to feed and support their families. they turned up at the town square each morning nice and early, in the hope of getting work for the day.

We hear from those who worked all day, they got the silver coin that was the payment for a casual worker for the day., and they complained when they saw what the others were getting.

But what of those who waited in the town square all day?  how might they have been feeling? think about it, you arrive early in the morning, and no one picks you; you may be a little older, or you may have an injury – and so you wait, wondering what will I feed my family today, and what if no one picks me again tomorrow, how will I look after my family?

then late in the day, close to the end of the work day, you and some others are still standing there, wondering how to feed your family, when someone offers you an hour’s work. you jump at the opportunity, it won’t pay much, but anything is better than nothing, and maybe he will hire me for longer tomorrow.

And then you get paid what you need to feed your family – how would you feel?

  

In the Lord’s prayer we pray for God kingdom to come, and we ask for daily bread. not daily truffles and caviar and champagne, but daily bread. enough food for the day, not luxuries or enough to store up for later.

this passage reminds me of the manna in the desert, each had enough for the day.

the kingdom of heaven is one in which all people are valued, and all receive what they need, not necessarily what they deserve or what we earn.

We don’t earn God’s grace, or forgiveness or love; nor do we deserve God’s grace or forgiveness or love.  But God offers each one of us grace and forgiveness and love, and much more besides.

When we pray, Your Kingdom Come, is it merely words or are we doing something to make the world a place of dignity for more people, even if it means we pay more for our clothes or food, so that those who produce our food can get paid adequately – that is why the church supports fair trade products.  

There is an image on the screen of a father talking to his daughter, and he tells her : that you only look in your neighbours bowl to see if they have sufficient, not see if they have more than you.

“Only look in your neighbours bowl to see if they have sufficient, not see if they have more than you.”

How often do we feel dissatisfied, not with what we have, but because it is less than what someone else has. how often do we compare our houses, cars, clothes, pay packets, church attendance, number of friends… ?

How often do we feel upset because we have been working for the church for many years, and then someone new comes in and gets the benefit?

How often do we wonder about people who make a deathbed commitment to follow Jesus, when we have walked the narrow road for many years?

The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner, who hires and pays people according to their need.

The Kingdom of heaven, is a kingdom of justice, a kingdom of need being met, not because we deserve it, not because we earned it, but because God is generous, and gracious and knows our need.

Reflection [from spill the beans]

Those who have been here forever

....

.. we now take some time to reflect ..

Your Kingdom Come: Forgiveness

each week we pray the Lord’s Prayer:

Our Father in Heaven,

Hallowed be your name.

Your Kingdom come,

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

 

Your Kingdom come

 

This is the theme I am working through this Lent,

Your Kingdom come

 

As we read some of  the Parables of Jesus recorded by Matthew. and they are Kingdom parables.

they start ‘the kingdom of heaven is like..’

I wonder what it means for us to pray  Your Kingdom come

 

 

Now the first part of today’s reading is not part of the parable, but leads into the parable.  the disciples are asking about forgiveness, and Jesus does some teaching, and then tells a story – nothing new in that approach, we see it often from Jesus.

 

the teaching part is often referred to in matters of church discipline as a good model, if some sins against you, hurts you go and speak with them, if they don’t listen take a few others with you, etc.

it means no gossiping, no sorting people out as to whose side people are on. it also means trying to maintain a good relationship with the person who hurt you – now that is hard, and I am not sure it is always good news:)

and the bit about treating people as tax collector, look up how Jesus treats Tax collectors! and a hint – he doesn’t push them away or shun them!

 

moving now to the parable.

the kingdom of heaven is like a king …

a king who forgives a debt, a big debt, a debt so big the servant could never have paid it back. various people have tried calculating how much the debt was, in the translation we heard this morning in it ten thousand bags of God, other translations have ten thousand talents. it equates to 150 - 200,000 years of wages for a labourer. I wonder how the person was allowed to get into that kind of debt.

the king was merciful.

 

and we think what a lovely story.

we have sinned against God and God is merciful and forgives us.

well that is true,

but I think this story has a lot more happening in it.

 

we could look at the economic system that allows a person to get into such a  huge debt in the first place – a debt that they are never going to be able to repay.

 

but let’s stay with the forgiveness theme today.

 

the first servant is forgiven a ridiculously big debt.

then he refuses to forgive  a much smaller debt.

and he is thrown in prison.

 

in the Kingdom of Heaven, forgiveness is received and given.

 

earlier this week  at the Ash Wednesday service people had the opportunity to write down a hurt,  a burden, something they needed to be forgiven for, or something they needed to forgive; then we burnt the pieces of paper.

Some people commented that they wished it was so easy.

 

often forgiveness is not easy,

but:

 

forgiveness does not ask you to forget what happened

forgiveness does not ask that you stay in an abusive situation

forgiveness does not ask you to pretend it never happened

 

forgiveness means not letting the hurt dominate your life

forgiveness means letting go of the desire for revenge

forgiveness means  freedom for you to be yourself

 

when we hurt someone, we need to ask for forgiveness, but we also need to take responsibility for what we have done.

 

my experience is that some people don’t forgive – they hold onto hurts, they let the pain envelop their lives, and they become bitter.

 

the other pattern I have noticed is that some people won’t accept forgiveness.

each week, we pray a prayer of confession, and the forgiveness we have through Christ is announced. but I know some of you struggle with the idea that God does actually forgive your sins. so each week I will continue to declare to you, that God forgives our sins.

 

in the Lord’s prayer we pray  ‘ your Kingdom Come’ .

What does this parable tell us about the Kingdom of Heaven?

 

it is like another line on the Lord’s Prayer:

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

 

this parable is a warning of what happens when we don’t forgive others.

when we hold onto hurts,

when we hold onto judgement,

when we hold onto the desire for revenge,

we are not free to live in the forgiveness God offers us

when we don’t forgive others, they can be hurt by that, but so are we.

 

The person who holds onto the anger and resentment, is not at peace.

 

God offers mercy and grace, but we are expected to do the same.

 

the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of forgiveness.

 

do we really want to pray : your kingdom come?

Excluding Those Who God Includes

this sermon was written for, and preached, as part of the requirements of a preaching subject in my M. Div program.

Excluding Those Who God Includes

Text: Matthew 18: 15-20 focussing on verses 15-17.

 

Let us pray:

God who is revealed to us in Love, may we be open to your surprising presence, and transformed to live and love knowing that we are created for relationship with you and each other. Amen.

 

When someone hurts me with what they say or do, I want to get even.

When someone has hurt me and doesn’t listen to my pain, I get angry and sad, and I want them to hurt.

When people don’t play by the rules, I want to cut them out of my life.

 

In the reading from Matthew today, Jesus is recorded as saying, if someone hurts you, then go and speak with them and if after speaking with the person they haven’t listened to you, then take some witnesses along. If after discussing it with the person in front of the witnesses they still don’t listen, then raise the issue with the church and if the person still doesn’t listen, then treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

 

All of this suggests to me that dealing with the pain that I am feeling isn’t about my pain. Dealing with the hurt is about relating with the person who caused the pain; going and speaking with the person I least want to talk with. I prefer to avoid conflict.  I’ve been in arguments a couple of times in my life. One argument I can remember happened at a meeting, there were four of us present, and I knew them all well; elders executive, our main task was planning the agenda for the meeting the following week, but at times we also looked at what might be some suggestions for how to deal with some of the issues arising in the meeting. Something was coming up on the agenda and one of the Ministers and I disagreed. Now normally I would have relented, avoided the conflict and gone with the Minister’s suggestion; but not this evening. And even though it wasn’t an important issue for either of us; neither of us would back down. Shortly afterwards the meeting finished and I had to rush home and have dinner; people would be arriving at my place in less than an hour for Bible Study.

 

Before I got in the door one of the other people from the meeting was on the phone to make sure I was OK, and before dinner was over so was the other person and the Minister. The Minister and I agreed to meet the next day. I took cake; the minister made coffee and we are both still friends. For both of us, fortunately the relationship was more important than the issue.

 

It wasn’t about who won or lost the argument, but about a continuing relationship. And this is what the first part of the reading is about. Don’t run and hide, don’t gossip and try to get a group of supporters as much as that is what you feel like doing.  Talk to the person, and often it will be much more difficult than the example I have just related.

 

In looking at this reading as I prepared for today, the part of the passage that most intrigues me, is in verse 17, if the person doesn’t listen to you, and doesn’t listen to the church then treat them as a tax collector or a pagan.

 

Now Matthew is the most Jewish of the gospels, and thinking what this might mean for them, and reading a few commentaries, it would seem that at least here Matthew’s Jesus and I agree. If someone won’t listen to the church, then shun them; remove them from your life.  At least sometimes Jesus agrees with me.

 

Just to be sure, I looked at how Matthew speaks of tax collectors in other parts of the gospel. Uh-oh! I’m in trouble again. When I look at other references to tax-collector in Matthew, they don’t talk of shunning, or avoiding. Jesus called a tax collector to be one of the disciples, and Jesus ate with tax collectors. That was one of the things that got up the nose of the Pharisees; Jesus ate with the wrong people and Jesus visited the homes of the wrong people.

 

In the first part of the reading, if someone wrongs you, then try and maintain or build on the relationship. The process is in the interest of the one we call the guilty party, the perpetrator.  Then traditionally the final part of the process is interpreted as to remove people from the fellowship of the church. Which when I think about it makes perfect sense and also doesn’t make sense. It makes sense to me because if someone is causing problems in the church and won’t admit it, then the church is probably better off without them. My experience in the church tells me that it makes sense. But it doesn’t make sense in the light of the gospel.

 

Here Matthew is talking of doing everything possible to maintain relationship with the person who has done wrong. Even treating them like a tax collector.

 

The tax collector bit is treated very differently by different commentators. That’s why I went back to Matthew’s gospel, try and see how Matthew has Jesus talking about tax collectors. And Jesus doesn’t talk about them much, and when he does he tells the religious folk that the tax collectors will be in heaven ahead of the religious people.

 

While Jesus doesn’t talk about them much, he does spend time with them, and he eats with them.  I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to eat with someone when I am angry with them, my tummy turns somersaults and I don’t breathe well. To eat with someone would mean that I have to let go of my anger, to recognise the humanity and dignity of the other person and not let my feelings get in the way of the meal and the conversation.

 

Now I don’t know about you, but I find this hugely challenging. And as I have been thinking about this this week, the following story from the news a few weeks ago kept coming into my mind. It was about the response of some people on the North Coast to a convicted paedophile, on parole, moving into the community to live with his family. I can understand their concern for their children, and I wonder what we can do to help make safe places for children; to be a safe community for all people. But I also wonder what do we do with people who terrify us; people we don’t like; people we consider dangerous to us or our community.

 

 I don’t have any easy answers.

 

Even within the church, I wonder what difference it would make to the debate on leadership and sexuality, if we ate together rather than debating each other.

 

As I said at the beginning, I’m quite happy to avoid those who hurt me, and to have those who don’t follow the rules or are disruptive thrown out of the church. But as much as for a moment there was the possibility that this text was saying that, and there are scholars who appear to go in that direction, reading the text I can’t agree with that. Here I sense a challenge from God, to do that which is subversive, to include those who hurt you.

 

Now I suspect you are wondering where the good news is in all this. Maintaining a relationship with a person who has hurt you, and won’t admit it, hardly seems like good news to me. Doesn’t sound like liberation or life sustaining way to live. But if I am honest, as often as someone hurts me, I have hurt other people, by what I have said or the way I have behaved.

 

So maybe the good news is that I am constantly being included; that this is a challenge to the church to hold onto people like me, a sinner. Because as much as there are people I find difficult to live with in the church, there will be people who would want me out. When we look at making rules that define the boundaries of God’s grace, this passage challenges me to think about which side of the boundary I might end up on. 

 

Love not revenge, patience rather than anger, inclusion not exclusion. May we all live up to the challenge to live as God’s people – forgiven and forgiving, living in relationship with God and each other. Amen

the Lord's Prayer

What is prayer?

sometimes it is saying good morning to God as you wake up, sometimes it is pouring out your heart to God in the midst of pain and frustration,

sometimes it is sharing the joy of being alive.

In the time of Jesus, there were some set prayers, just as we have some standard prayers today. I am guessing some of you learnt ‘now lay me down to sleep…’ when you were younger. some of you will have a standard grace you say before meals. Some Christian groups have particular prayers they say together.

Prayer was something that Jewish people were familiar with.

Jewish teachers, like Jesus, often taught their disciples to pray.
Here Jesus isn't teaching a prayer, but how to pray.
Notice Jesus starts with 'when you pray' not ' if you pray' . it is assumed that people will pray, that it is a concept they are familiar with.

 

a few things to notice,

it is OUR father, not MY father.

also prayer is about relationship with God and all of God’s creation, it isn’t about being seen to be praying J
and the pattern:

 When you pray

   Start with God
    Align yourself with Gods plan
     Our basic physical needs
    Our need for forgiveness and grace
  Our need for God’s guidance so we don't go off track
And then end with recognising that God is God.

Skit**  Lord’s Prayer – two voices

Prayer is aligning our life to God, not dragging God into our whirlpool of busyness, stress, desires etc.

Prayer is putting ourselves into Gods space, and seeking to let God, and Gods will for us, to grow more in our lives.

Prayer is acknowledging the brokenness and beauty of all of God’s creation, and seeking our place in abundant living for all.

“  ..  in the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus directs our concern to God, ourselves, and our neighbour, and for the strength to care for all three. It’s that simple. That profound. That important. And so worth slowing down and considering what we’re actually praying for.” [David Lose: In the Meantime  Posted: 17 Feb 2014]

** the Skit is based on one from the book, "If God Talked Out Loud" by Clyde Lee Heering, 1977