Strange Stories - Forgiveness and Prison

This is the first of our parables for Lent.

When we read it, what do we find out about God or Jesus?

Jesus introduces the story: This story will show you what the kingdom of heaven is like:

Another Kingdom of Heaven parable,

A few weeks ago, we heard a series of parables on the kingdom of heaven is like, and I summarised the kingdom as:

·         Generous to the point of being extravagant or wasteful [sower/4 soils]

·         Inclusive, even of enemies [wheat and weeds]

·         growing/useful [mustard seed]

·         hidden/subversive [ yeast]

·         valuable [ treasure]

·         something to seek, and find[pearl]

·         non-judging [fish]

today’s parable:

the kingdom of heaven is like a king who forgives a debt,
a big debt,
a debt so big the servant could never have paid it back.

Various people have tried calculating how much the debt was, in the translation we heard this morning it is fifty million silver coins, other translations have ten thousand talents. it equates to about 150,000 years of wages for a labourer. I wonder how the person could get into that kind of debt. Even if he was paid five times as much as a labourer, it is 30,000 years of wages. It is a ridiculous amount.

the king was merciful.

and we think what a lovely story.

the first servant is forgiven a ridiculously big debt.

then he refuses to forgive a much smaller debt.

and he is thrown in prison.

in the Kingdom of Heaven, forgiveness is received and given.

If we read it as the king represents God,
the forgiveness of the debt of the first official is what I want to hear;
not only am I and my family not being thrown in prison for being in debt,
but I don’t have to pay back what I owe,
which given the amount is impossible.

But then when the one who was forgiven doesn’t forgive, the forgiveness is taken back.

That doesn’t seem like good news to me.

It does fit with the line in the Lord’s Prayer: forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

The ending doesn’t fit well with me, it isn’t the way I want, or expect, God to treat me, or anyone.

What is forgiveness?

A quote:
“Forgiveness is not saying that what happened was OK,
it’s being able to say within your heart
that you accept what’s happened
and you won’t let it stop you living a life
or seeing humanity in the person who has hurt you.”[i]

In my experience, not forgiving someone eats away at me, and at times the other person has been totally oblivious to the turmoil within me. 

A story:

When I was at college, I struggled with one person on staff. She put students down, expected us to be able to stop our lives on little notice and do what she wanted. At times her comments were cruel and hurtful.

After I finished college, I decided all was well, as I would not ever have to relate to her again.

About five years later, I was on a Synod task group, and she was on it as well.

UGH!!!

I wondered how I could work with this person when I did not want anything to do with her.

 
I decided I had to forgive her. I had no idea if she was aware of how hurtful her behaviour had been, or even if she remembered some of the things she had said to students. She had not asked for forgiveness.

I chose to forgive her, so I could be involved in the work of the Synod task group without seething about her treatment of students.

I didn’t say anything to her about forgiving her, but once I had forgiven her, I was able to work with her without being distracted by resentment.

Is there someone you need to forgive?

If you are ready to forgive, you can write it on a piece of paper, screw it up and it will be burnt.

When I have offered this before, some people commented that they wished it was so easy.

often forgiveness is not easy,

but:

forgiveness does not ask you to forget what happened

forgiveness does not ask that you stay in an abusive situation

forgiveness does not ask you to pretend it never happened

forgiveness does mean the behaviour was acceptable.

forgiveness means not letting the hurt dominate your life

forgiveness means letting go of the desire for revenge

forgiveness means freedom for you to be yourself

when we hurt someone, we need to ask for forgiveness, and we also need to take responsibility for what we have done.

my experience is that some people don’t forgive – they hold onto hurts, they let the pain envelop their lives, and they become bitter.

the other pattern I have noticed is that some people struggle to accept forgiveness.

I wonder if that is part of what is happening in this parable.

While the Lord’s prayer says: Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

Maybe we can only truly forgive, when we know ourselves forgiven.

Until we accept forgiveness, from God and ourselves and others

When we stop holding ourselves hostage to our mistakes

Maybe then, when we can accept the forgiveness of God, will we be able to accept forgiveness and forgive others.

Forgiveness isn’t like winning the lottery, though for the first person in this parable it must have seemed like it.

Forgiveness is part of our lives, and we live with the consequences of not forgiving.

What does this parable tell us about the Kingdom of Heaven?

this parable is a warning of what happens when we don’t forgive others.

when we hold onto hurts,

when we hold onto judgement,

when we hold onto the desire for revenge,

we are not free to live in the forgiveness God offers us

when we don’t forgive others, they can be hurt by that, but so are we.

The person who holds onto the anger and resentment, is not at peace,

God offers mercy and grace, but we are expected to do the same.

the Kingdom of heaven is a Kingdom of forgiveness.

This lent, who do you need to forgive?

What do you need to let go of?

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[i] https://www.theforgivenessproject.com/tracey-ford

Your Kingdom Come: Forgiveness

each week we pray the Lord’s Prayer:

Our Father in Heaven,

Hallowed be your name.

Your Kingdom come,

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

 

Your Kingdom come

 

This is the theme I am working through this Lent,

Your Kingdom come

 

As we read some of  the Parables of Jesus recorded by Matthew. and they are Kingdom parables.

they start ‘the kingdom of heaven is like..’

I wonder what it means for us to pray  Your Kingdom come

 

 

Now the first part of today’s reading is not part of the parable, but leads into the parable.  the disciples are asking about forgiveness, and Jesus does some teaching, and then tells a story – nothing new in that approach, we see it often from Jesus.

 

the teaching part is often referred to in matters of church discipline as a good model, if some sins against you, hurts you go and speak with them, if they don’t listen take a few others with you, etc.

it means no gossiping, no sorting people out as to whose side people are on. it also means trying to maintain a good relationship with the person who hurt you – now that is hard, and I am not sure it is always good news:)

and the bit about treating people as tax collector, look up how Jesus treats Tax collectors! and a hint – he doesn’t push them away or shun them!

 

moving now to the parable.

the kingdom of heaven is like a king …

a king who forgives a debt, a big debt, a debt so big the servant could never have paid it back. various people have tried calculating how much the debt was, in the translation we heard this morning in it ten thousand bags of God, other translations have ten thousand talents. it equates to 150 - 200,000 years of wages for a labourer. I wonder how the person was allowed to get into that kind of debt.

the king was merciful.

 

and we think what a lovely story.

we have sinned against God and God is merciful and forgives us.

well that is true,

but I think this story has a lot more happening in it.

 

we could look at the economic system that allows a person to get into such a  huge debt in the first place – a debt that they are never going to be able to repay.

 

but let’s stay with the forgiveness theme today.

 

the first servant is forgiven a ridiculously big debt.

then he refuses to forgive  a much smaller debt.

and he is thrown in prison.

 

in the Kingdom of Heaven, forgiveness is received and given.

 

earlier this week  at the Ash Wednesday service people had the opportunity to write down a hurt,  a burden, something they needed to be forgiven for, or something they needed to forgive; then we burnt the pieces of paper.

Some people commented that they wished it was so easy.

 

often forgiveness is not easy,

but:

 

forgiveness does not ask you to forget what happened

forgiveness does not ask that you stay in an abusive situation

forgiveness does not ask you to pretend it never happened

 

forgiveness means not letting the hurt dominate your life

forgiveness means letting go of the desire for revenge

forgiveness means  freedom for you to be yourself

 

when we hurt someone, we need to ask for forgiveness, but we also need to take responsibility for what we have done.

 

my experience is that some people don’t forgive – they hold onto hurts, they let the pain envelop their lives, and they become bitter.

 

the other pattern I have noticed is that some people won’t accept forgiveness.

each week, we pray a prayer of confession, and the forgiveness we have through Christ is announced. but I know some of you struggle with the idea that God does actually forgive your sins. so each week I will continue to declare to you, that God forgives our sins.

 

in the Lord’s prayer we pray  ‘ your Kingdom Come’ .

What does this parable tell us about the Kingdom of Heaven?

 

it is like another line on the Lord’s Prayer:

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.

 

this parable is a warning of what happens when we don’t forgive others.

when we hold onto hurts,

when we hold onto judgement,

when we hold onto the desire for revenge,

we are not free to live in the forgiveness God offers us

when we don’t forgive others, they can be hurt by that, but so are we.

 

The person who holds onto the anger and resentment, is not at peace.

 

God offers mercy and grace, but we are expected to do the same.

 

the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of forgiveness.

 

do we really want to pray : your kingdom come?

Excluding Those Who God Includes

this sermon was written for, and preached, as part of the requirements of a preaching subject in my M. Div program.

Excluding Those Who God Includes

Text: Matthew 18: 15-20 focussing on verses 15-17.

 

Let us pray:

God who is revealed to us in Love, may we be open to your surprising presence, and transformed to live and love knowing that we are created for relationship with you and each other. Amen.

 

When someone hurts me with what they say or do, I want to get even.

When someone has hurt me and doesn’t listen to my pain, I get angry and sad, and I want them to hurt.

When people don’t play by the rules, I want to cut them out of my life.

 

In the reading from Matthew today, Jesus is recorded as saying, if someone hurts you, then go and speak with them and if after speaking with the person they haven’t listened to you, then take some witnesses along. If after discussing it with the person in front of the witnesses they still don’t listen, then raise the issue with the church and if the person still doesn’t listen, then treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

 

All of this suggests to me that dealing with the pain that I am feeling isn’t about my pain. Dealing with the hurt is about relating with the person who caused the pain; going and speaking with the person I least want to talk with. I prefer to avoid conflict.  I’ve been in arguments a couple of times in my life. One argument I can remember happened at a meeting, there were four of us present, and I knew them all well; elders executive, our main task was planning the agenda for the meeting the following week, but at times we also looked at what might be some suggestions for how to deal with some of the issues arising in the meeting. Something was coming up on the agenda and one of the Ministers and I disagreed. Now normally I would have relented, avoided the conflict and gone with the Minister’s suggestion; but not this evening. And even though it wasn’t an important issue for either of us; neither of us would back down. Shortly afterwards the meeting finished and I had to rush home and have dinner; people would be arriving at my place in less than an hour for Bible Study.

 

Before I got in the door one of the other people from the meeting was on the phone to make sure I was OK, and before dinner was over so was the other person and the Minister. The Minister and I agreed to meet the next day. I took cake; the minister made coffee and we are both still friends. For both of us, fortunately the relationship was more important than the issue.

 

It wasn’t about who won or lost the argument, but about a continuing relationship. And this is what the first part of the reading is about. Don’t run and hide, don’t gossip and try to get a group of supporters as much as that is what you feel like doing.  Talk to the person, and often it will be much more difficult than the example I have just related.

 

In looking at this reading as I prepared for today, the part of the passage that most intrigues me, is in verse 17, if the person doesn’t listen to you, and doesn’t listen to the church then treat them as a tax collector or a pagan.

 

Now Matthew is the most Jewish of the gospels, and thinking what this might mean for them, and reading a few commentaries, it would seem that at least here Matthew’s Jesus and I agree. If someone won’t listen to the church, then shun them; remove them from your life.  At least sometimes Jesus agrees with me.

 

Just to be sure, I looked at how Matthew speaks of tax collectors in other parts of the gospel. Uh-oh! I’m in trouble again. When I look at other references to tax-collector in Matthew, they don’t talk of shunning, or avoiding. Jesus called a tax collector to be one of the disciples, and Jesus ate with tax collectors. That was one of the things that got up the nose of the Pharisees; Jesus ate with the wrong people and Jesus visited the homes of the wrong people.

 

In the first part of the reading, if someone wrongs you, then try and maintain or build on the relationship. The process is in the interest of the one we call the guilty party, the perpetrator.  Then traditionally the final part of the process is interpreted as to remove people from the fellowship of the church. Which when I think about it makes perfect sense and also doesn’t make sense. It makes sense to me because if someone is causing problems in the church and won’t admit it, then the church is probably better off without them. My experience in the church tells me that it makes sense. But it doesn’t make sense in the light of the gospel.

 

Here Matthew is talking of doing everything possible to maintain relationship with the person who has done wrong. Even treating them like a tax collector.

 

The tax collector bit is treated very differently by different commentators. That’s why I went back to Matthew’s gospel, try and see how Matthew has Jesus talking about tax collectors. And Jesus doesn’t talk about them much, and when he does he tells the religious folk that the tax collectors will be in heaven ahead of the religious people.

 

While Jesus doesn’t talk about them much, he does spend time with them, and he eats with them.  I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to eat with someone when I am angry with them, my tummy turns somersaults and I don’t breathe well. To eat with someone would mean that I have to let go of my anger, to recognise the humanity and dignity of the other person and not let my feelings get in the way of the meal and the conversation.

 

Now I don’t know about you, but I find this hugely challenging. And as I have been thinking about this this week, the following story from the news a few weeks ago kept coming into my mind. It was about the response of some people on the North Coast to a convicted paedophile, on parole, moving into the community to live with his family. I can understand their concern for their children, and I wonder what we can do to help make safe places for children; to be a safe community for all people. But I also wonder what do we do with people who terrify us; people we don’t like; people we consider dangerous to us or our community.

 

 I don’t have any easy answers.

 

Even within the church, I wonder what difference it would make to the debate on leadership and sexuality, if we ate together rather than debating each other.

 

As I said at the beginning, I’m quite happy to avoid those who hurt me, and to have those who don’t follow the rules or are disruptive thrown out of the church. But as much as for a moment there was the possibility that this text was saying that, and there are scholars who appear to go in that direction, reading the text I can’t agree with that. Here I sense a challenge from God, to do that which is subversive, to include those who hurt you.

 

Now I suspect you are wondering where the good news is in all this. Maintaining a relationship with a person who has hurt you, and won’t admit it, hardly seems like good news to me. Doesn’t sound like liberation or life sustaining way to live. But if I am honest, as often as someone hurts me, I have hurt other people, by what I have said or the way I have behaved.

 

So maybe the good news is that I am constantly being included; that this is a challenge to the church to hold onto people like me, a sinner. Because as much as there are people I find difficult to live with in the church, there will be people who would want me out. When we look at making rules that define the boundaries of God’s grace, this passage challenges me to think about which side of the boundary I might end up on. 

 

Love not revenge, patience rather than anger, inclusion not exclusion. May we all live up to the challenge to live as God’s people – forgiven and forgiving, living in relationship with God and each other. Amen