Some things can't be measured

This Sunday we are baptising twelve month old twins.

Reading the gospel this week, I was reminded of the phrase ‘cost/benefit analysis’.  It is usually used in the business world to calculate the financial benefit of projects.  For example, if you put new equipment into a factory it would cost 20 million dollars. If the new equipment will

-      double production, meaning extra sales of 2 million a year.
- a life span of 20 years

-      a total ‘benefit’ of 40 million

A cost of 20 million and benefit of 40 million, it is worth the project going ahead.

The same idea exists in the gospel reading. People were working out where to sit to maximise their prestige, without having to be embarrassed by being asked to move to a lower seat. There was a pecking order, and each host had to work out who sat in the most prestigious seats.

When we attend a wedding today, there are usually place cards, so you know where to sit. Usually immediate family, then extended family and friends. What would happen if you moved your place card from the back table to the table nearest the bride and groom?

In the first part of the wedding story, when Jesus is addressing the guests, he seems to be working within the cultural world - a world with a limited amount of honour to go around, and it was important to get as much as you can, and not give any away. The advice to sit in the lower place, so you will asked to move to a higher place makes perfect sense in the world of honour and shame.

Then when Jesus talks to the host, and advises that you invite people who can’t invite you back, he is going against the cultural traditions.

By being invited to functions you gained honour or prestige. Why would you invite someone who isn’t able to reciprocate your invitation? You are giving them some of your honour, and they are not going to be able to give you honour. That makes no sense in the society of the time.

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to happen much today either.

We live in a culture which still expects us to reciprocate in some way. If I buy you coffee this time, you pay next time.

When we live with the idea of exchange rather than generosity, we lose out.

I wonder about the cost/benefit analysis of having a child, or two?

Not everything in life is able to be measured and costed – how do you cost a hug? Or a sleepless night? Or the first day of school?
How do you measure the benefit of a friend who drops everything to be with you in an emergency?

We can measure distance and time, but how do we measure love or grace?

One issue this passage is addressing is the scarcity model of thinking, that is, there is a limited amount of honour, so get as much as you can. Sometimes in our society it is prestige, but might also be property, money, food, jobs or power. Anytime we think there is not enough of something, we tend to hold tightly to what we have, and see if we can get more.

“But what if there was? What if there was enough and more than enough to go around? What difference would that make in our own peace of mind and the way we treated others? What if we saw others not as competitors for scarce resources but as partners, even siblings, commissioned by God to distribute the riches of God’s goodness and grace?” [i]

What if we started living as if there was plenty to go around?
Plenty of food and housing,
plenty of prestige and power,
plenty of everything we need
more than enough.
What if we lived like that?   

Too often I hear statements about how ‘those people’ deserve to be without housing or education or adequate health services.

I hear how ‘those people’ deserve to be lonely or isolated or in prison.

When we work in a framework of scarcity and the need to reciprocate, we try and give everything a quantitative value. But what of the most important relationship of all?

We can’t reciprocate with God.  “If we insist that our faith, our salvation, is dependent upon an equal rate of exchange between God and us, then we need to ask ourselves, in what kind of God do we believe? What happens if we don’t measure up? And what makes us think we can assume certain systems to quantify the grace of God?” [ii]

If God only loved me as much as I loved God ... well, let’s just say life would be very different, and not for the better J

The story I read earlier is Guess how much I love you? [iii]

Guess how much God loves you. As wide as I can reach, as high as I can jump, to the moon and back?

In the baptism service we heard these words spoken to each child. I want you to listen to them for yourself. When I put my hand up, I want you to say your name out loud. OK?

[Name – put my hand up],

for you Jesus Christ has come,

has lived, has suffered;

for you he endured the agony of Gethsemane

and the darkness of Calvary;

for you he uttered the cry, ‘It is accomplished!’

For you he triumphed over death;

for you he prays at God’s right hand;

for you, [name - put my hand up],

even before you were born.

In baptism, the word of the apostle is confirmed:

‘We love, because God first loved us’.

We jostle for position, for the best seats and the best spot on the beach. I have seen children jostling for position of Mum’s lap.  We want to be seen, we want to be well regarded, and we want to be loved.

The good news is that you are loved, more than you can measure. Our worth is not determined by how much we have accumulated, or who our friends are. Our worth is not determined by how other people see us, or even how we see ourselves. Our worth is determined by God. In the life and death and resurrection of Jesus, God said, and says, you are worth everything.

What would your life be like if you lived acknowledging that you are loved without limit?

What difference would it make to our community if we valued each person as much as God values them?

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[i] David Lose, In the Meantime

[ii] Karoline Lewis, Working Preacher

[iii] Sam McBratney, Guess How Much I Love You

all are welcome at the Banquet

Notice what happens when people are choosing teams – it may be for sport or a quiz or even who to cook with on ‘Masterchef’. If I allocated 2 people to be leaders, and asked them to choose their teams, how do you think they would choose?

Could be by who is best at that particular activity; or who they are friends with; who they want to impress; or who they owe a favour to.
When I was at school this was the method of choosing teams for sport – ……

……

The people who first heard the parable, would recognise its teaching from the Book of Proverbs. This part of the book of Proverbs deals with how to succeed in the king’s court, a bit like a business etiquette manual or finishing school. Here Jesus uses the same advice in terms of a wedding banquet, but why does he tell the parable at all??

He tells it because he noticed how people were choosing where to sit. There are good seats and better seats. There are seats close to the host, or the important guest – seats which means you are more likely to get noticed.

This is in a culture where shame and honour are highly regulated, and very important. Knowing where you were in the pecking order was important; that way you would know where to sit, who to invite, and where to seat people. Avoiding shame was very important.

We might think things have changed in the past 2000 years or so, but I wonder how much things have really changed.

About 15 or 20 years ago, I attended a function with Ian, something to do with Ian’s work. I had been visiting at the local rehabilitation hospital all afternoon, got home in time for a quick shower and dress up for the occasion – as you might guess dressing up for a fancy function is not something that comes naturally. Anyway, someone asked me what I did – I answered that I was a community volunteer, and they turned around and started speaking to someone else.

I doubt I am the only person this has happened to, some people only seem to be interested in us if we have something useful to offer them. If by associating with us, they will gain something – otherwise we are seen as a waste of time.

Which brings us to the second part of Luke’s Gospel reading – who to invite. If you were hosting a party, and could invite 10 people, who would you invite? Family, friends…

In a culture of honour and shame, it is important to invite people who could be helpful for you, who will have the right family background for a potential partner for your children; or to help in your business dealings. Why waste time and food on people who have nothing to offer you in return?

In many ways we still live in a culture like this, we may not talk of honour and shame, but we still think about who we invite in terms of our connections.

Are we interested in people for what they can give us, in terms of prestige, information, job referrals, discounts ….

Or are we interested in people.

……..

A few days ago was the 50^th anniversary of the famous speech by Martin Luther King : I have a Dream. Next week we vote in the Federal election. Martin Luther King was speaking in a time when black Americans were discriminated against, it wasn’t always called that. It was just that black people were considered different, and not as worthy as white people.

Politicians of all kinds, are telling us at the moment that some people count more than others.  I spent considerable time yesterday looking through the senate paper, working out what order to put the 110 candidates in – because I refuse to vote above the line. And looking, even briefly, at the policies of some parties was an education. Most want more for one particular group of people, just each political party is wanting extra for a different group.

…….

Hospitality can be defined as “friendly, welcoming, and generous treatment offered to guests or strangers” other definitions are around the hospitality industry – which is hospitality for those who can afford to pay someone to be hospitable to them.

How would we talk about hospitality?

Generally it is people meeting with like-minded people or at least people we like. We do offer hospitality to strangers, but generally not in person. It is easier to be generous to people who are living in poverty, if don’t actually have to meet them. I wonder if that is why mission was so much more popular in churches when it referred to people a long way away?

Jesus challenged the systems and structures of his age, not by throwing everything away, but by changing the definition of who was an honoured guest. It was no longer someone who could smooth out your next business venture, it was someone who could offer nothing in return.

……..

 “ Jesus in this passage invites not just his first-century hearers but also his twenty-first century followers to live differently, to break the rules of “what have you done for me lately?”, and to

value others not because of what they can do for you but because they are -- we each are! -- children of God.” [David Lose]

 

So often it is easy to think we are the people who have our lives together, to know who we are, where we fit into society, and that we have a ‘place’, that we do fit. But what of the reality. Scratch beneath the surface and most people are trying to maintain an image that goes with living in our modern day.  Yesterday in the Herald there was an article on Affluenza, an affliction of our society, where we think we are poor because we cannot afford a large house, two new cars, private schooling and elaborate holidays – and that is why politicians are able to tell us at the moment how badly off we are. The reality is we are not badly off.

In our society at the moment, people are so concerned with getting ahead, getting the next promotion, the next car, upgrading the house, children or grandchildren going to the right schools, so busy working for the privileges of wealth. And where does it get us? tired, stressed, reminds me of Mrs Bucket [Bouquet from Keeping up Appearances]  the amount of work that woman put into being better than anyone else.

Yet around the table, here, we are fed and nurtured by God, we eat and are renewed as members of the body of Christ, we are an honoured guest, not because of our bank balance or our address, but because God declares us to be worthy and honoured.

If you get missed off the invitation lists of parties all the time, welcome to God’s kingdom; if you are looked down upon, here you are cherished; and if you want to be a guest at the banquet of God , you are welcome, but remember so are the misfits, the outsiders, refugees, the unemployed, mentally ill and imprisoned – all are welcome in God’s kingdom, all are welcome at God’s Banquet.

What difference will this story make in your life?