A poem: Some Doubted
I sometimes wonder if the church has a place
for people who are like me.
Everybody else seems to know their Bible better
that I do,
and I was never any good
at those memory verse things as a child.
Not only do I feel like a second-class Christian,
but my faith is so fragile, weak, compared to other people in our church.
I doubt myself all the time,
and I wonder about all those miracles Jesus
performed,
whether they could really have happened.
People don’t want to hear about my doubts.
They want the right answer,
the straight forward facts,
the truth as the minister or the church sees it,
and they go about their business feeling assured,
confident, Christ-like.
That is why I hide a lot when it comes to things
in our church.
I never go to those Bible Study or House-groups
in case people think I am just a fake Christian.
I never turn up at the prayer group, because I
don’t think I could pray in front of other people,
and Mrs Barrie is so eloquent when she prays
that it puts you to shame.
I am not as well educated as her,
so, I doubt that God would even take the time
to listen to anything I had to say or ask?
Yet every so often I am encouraged,
and feel that even if the church,
the Holy Willies or the minister might not think
much of me,
because of my doubts,
I know that Jesus still finds a place for me.
He still thinks that I belong,
fragile and weak and doubting that I am.
Here, even amidst the Joy of Easter,
the Good News of resurrection and life,
some doubted,
but were nevertheless encouraged
to go and live what they believed,
act on what they believed,
grow into what God might like them to become,
with their doubts and their mustard seed faith,
and still find their place amongst God’s
cherished ones.
Today I want to feel affirmed in who I am,
what I am able to believe, what I might become,
because I believe that God
is not finished with me yet.
So I will go and teach
what I know,
what I have already experienced,
what I am able to believe,
and trust that God will do the rest...
Spill
the Beans
I wonder what
it would look like if we trusted in spite of our doubts, our not knowing all
the answers.
I wonder what
it might look like if we were able to have conversations about our experience
of Jesus, faith, church.
Last week we
heard about the women finding the empty tomb, and their meeting with Jesus.
Would we have
run to tell the disciples?
Or was it too
much like a dream to be true?
I wonder if
the disciples asked themselves the same question as they travelled from Jerusalem
to Galilee.
The disciples
did not see Jesus in Jerusalem, they only have the word of the two Marys
Is this for
real?
Will Jesus be
there?
One thing I
have noticed when children begin walking, is they hold onto whatever is around the
start with; then they venture on their own, often only a few steps before they
fall over. They don’t give up, thinking this walking caper isn’t for me, they
get back up and try again. And they improve their balance and coordination each
attempt.
Is that how
we think about speaking of our faith?
I know I
worry about getting my words mixed up, and people thinking I am stupid. Like God
speaks to people!
Part of what I
have learnt about faith, as with many things in life, is that with practice we
improve. It doesn’t mean we understand everything or can explain the mysteries
of faith. but it does mean we step out in faith, not knowing what the next step
will be.
….
A few things
to think about with this reading:
“Go therefore and make disciples” - I have read that this isn’t Go as a command.
More like when leave this mountain and while you do what you do ….
“make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy
Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.” sometimes
this verse is read as 3 steps
1.
Make
disciples
2.
Baptise
3.
teach
Another
way of looking at it is to look at the active verb and the participles. The participles
explain how the making disciples happens. ‘In other words, we could understand the verse
to be saying, "Make disciples of all nations, by baptizing and teaching.”’
[i]
The
meeting between Jesus and the eleven disciples is on a mountain. Mountains are
known as places to connect with God. [ii]
Galilee
is where Jesus began his ministry and Matthew’s gospel finishes with this story
from Galilee. [iii]
In
chapter 1 Matthew announces that Jesus will be called Emmanuel, God with us;
and here at the end of the gospel, Jesus reminds them that he will always be with
them.
The disciples
have shown all through the gospels that they do not understand what Jesus is
teaching and showing them. And in the arrest and trail and crucifixion the
disciples do not look like superhero followers of Jesus.
As they stand
on the mountain with Jesus, they worship and doubt.
Jesus commissions
all eleven disciples, there is no knowledge test or doubt meter to pass.[iv]
“We are told to make disciples;
that is, to
teach and enable people to become like Jesus,
loving like
Jesus,
giving like
Jesus,
and forgiving
like Jesus.
We can only
teach and enable them to make Jesus their Lord if this is how we ourselves
live.” [v]
I know for me
and many others this is not easy. The idea
of speaking about our faith can be scary.
It can be hard to know what to say.
Telling the good
news isn’t giving a lecture on the life and teachings of Jesus,
Who
do you know who needs to hear the good news that they are loved?
Who
do you know who needs to hear the good news that their hard work is valued?
Who
can we share such life changing news with this week?[vi]
Living out the commission of Jesus to make disciples, baptising and
teaching may seem like a huge task.
Jesus trusts us with that task,
the task of telling people about love and
liberation
the task of showing grace and forgiveness
the task of making disciples
as we live out our
discipleship.
[i]
http://gluthermonson.blogspot.com/2017/06/the-great-calling-and-assurance.html
[ii]http://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=3877&fbclid=IwAR1SZbG5W3ceLbbGFtPp1RvMPc9hfQjOfiLleas3zQqh0l29gyEXU7jXJFI
[iii]
https://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=86&fbclid=IwAR2hSI-4T2LeEGnAp8CIe0SaVM_8zwZ3FsC5P7tnBxMf2ZsRCRKzEdjEyrM
[iv]https://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=2097&fbclid=IwAR1484HSP6LQI5KvbOaJn_WBTeQ7XdOjEae0ISRVNW31PQiDJI5lPSZAQtU
[v]
https://www.onemansweb.org/theology/life-on-the-beach-matthew-24-36-44/trust-matthew-28-16-20-trinity-sunday.html
[vi]
Spill the beans
