I am , I am not

Introduction to the Reading

Just before we hear the Scripture reading this morning, a quick recap:

2 weeks ago, we thought about the raising of Lazarus, and the various responses to that event.

Last week, Jesus washing the feet of the disciples.

in the same chapter, Jesus foretells his betrayal, and the denial by Peter;

in the next chapter, Jesus tells the disciples about the Holy Spirit that will come,

Chapter 15 begins with I am the true vine and my father is the vine grower and then,

still in this long section of teaching, Jesus prays for the disciples. We start our reading at the end of that prayer.

John 17:25- 18:27 

This is another action packed story.

After the time spent with the disciples, Jesus and the disciples moved across the Kidron valley, which is at one edge of the city walls.  

Scene 1: The arrest scene:

Now in a garden, Jesus and the disciples notice some people arriving.

Jesus asks: who are you looking for

Guards say: Jesus

Jesus says: I am

Guards fall down

And the exchange again, this time without the guards falling down.

Other gospels have Jesus praying and the disciples sleeping, not John, here we have a bold Jesus. Jesus says I am, the same name that we have for God in the conversation with Moses.

It also is a reminder of all the I am statements John records:

I am the bread of life 6:35

I am the light of the world 8:12

I am the gate for the sheep 10:7

I am the good shepherd 10:11

I am the resurrection and the life 11:25

I am the way, the truth and the life 14:6

I am the true Vine 15:1

Recap scene 1: arrest, Jesus says I am

scene 2: we move from the garden to the trial in the courtyard of the house of the  high priest. Annas questions Jesus about what he has been teaching, and Jesus responds that all his teaching has been in public, ‘I have said nothing in secret’.

Jesus is then sent to Caiaphas, the current high priest, and son-in-law of Annas.

the secrecy of the religious leaders in looking for ways to kill Jesus, the secrecy of Judas in betraying Jesus are contrasted with the openness of Jesus.

While this is happening, also in the courtyard is

scene 3:

Peter and another disciple follow the guards and Jesus, to see where they are taking Jesus. We don’t know the name of the other disciple, but he is known to the High Priest, and it seems on good terms, as he is allowed to freely enter the courtyard. This disciple arranges for Peter to be allowed in. the person on the gate, asks:

“Aren’t you one of that man’s followers?”

Peter says: I am not!

Then warming himself around a fire,

 “Aren’t you one of that man’s followers?”

Peter says: I am not!

And a relative of the guard whose ear Peter had cut off: “Didn’t I see you in the garden with that man?”

Peter denies it.

We don’t hear where the other disciples are at this point, so let’s not be too hard on Peter.

Ever wish you were somewhere else?  

When we hear or see violence, racism or sexism, do we speak up?
...Do something?
…...Or just try and blend into the background.

I wonder if Peter felt a bit like that. Jesus has been arrested and he is trying to find out what is happening, without getting involved. Impetuous Peter, is trying to play it cool.

Many Bibles put headings on paragraphs or sections, and you may already know I don’t like them, the heading on this is ‘Peter denies Jesus’, but I think Peter does more than that. Peter denies himself.

In the other gospels, Peter says, I do not know this man.
Here in John it says: I am not (one of that man’s followers)

Where Jesus says: I am

Peter says: I am not

When do we say: I am not!
…. I am not one of that man’s followers
Not necessarily in so few words.

In what ways do we deny our relationship with Jesus?
in what ways do we deny the presence of God in our lives?
in what ways do we deny our own truth?

What about when we say: I am not enough
What about when we try and fit in with the crowd
What about when we feel powerless to change anything,
and so we become spectators,
onlookers,
peeking around corners,
staying out of trouble.

At the workshop some of us attended yesterday, one person talked of how Christianity had started on the fringes, the edges of society, moved to the centre with Constantine, and then popes and bishops held power with kings and emperors. Now Christianity is moving from the centre to the edges. The Christian Church is no longer a dominant player in our society.

Increasingly we will need to find our voice,
our voice that tells of the transforming love of God in our life
our voice that tells our story
my voice that tells my story
your voice that tells your story
     a story of fear
     a story of difficult decisions
     a story of mistakes
     a story of love and grace and community and inclusion.

What people saw in Jesus all those years ago, is what people still look for today;
     authenticity,
     honesty,
     knowing who you are and
     living by your values.

Do our words and actions say: I am, or I am not one of that man’s followers

Do our lives say: I am, or I am not one of that man’s followers

Our response to challenge
our response to poverty and violence and despair,
will all speak louder than our words and prayers.

In what ways do we deny our relationship with Jesus?
in what ways do we deny the presence of God in our lives?
in what ways do we deny our own truth?